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August 03, 2006
Stuck in Traffic
I got stuck in traffic this evening. I had gone out to my old apartment to take care of a few things, and on the way back I got really, really stuck in what I can only assume was Cardinals traffic. It was great.
God and I had the most wonderful conversation. If you're ever gonna get stuck in traffic, He's a good one to get stuck with. He was sweet, gentle, forgiving, passionate. And yet He was strong enough for me to fall apart and to cry (I recommend wearing sunglasses as big as your face so you're less inhibited by the neighbouring cars) and to just be with me while I was feeling hurt and angry and scared. He didn't require me to feel a certain way when I started or ended, or think certain things, or even verbalize what I was feeling to Him. He was just kind of there, letting me know He loved me and that nothing about that had changed or will change, no matter what else has, does, or will.
There are parts of me that are still hurt, angry, and scared, of course. But I'm not hurt, angry, scared, and alone. I'm safe, and loved by the only one who's big enough and coordinated enough to not only hold my hand but to actually carry me in one arm while dealing with all the crap with his other. He's quite a lover and quite a God.
| By Heather | 10:47 PM
Comments
Wow, good for you, and of course great for Jesus! That’s Jesus’ job you know, not only to be our defender but also to be out lover. Why is so easy to forget that we are desperate for him and only he can heal us and truly love us in the midst of all our shit? I hate that I forget at times, perhaps a better way to say it is ignore of delude my self. Any way, it makes me happy that you had that time. He does delight in you Heather Nicole for you are his bride and he names you as beautiful.
Posted by: LJ at August 3, 2006 11:17 PM
AMEN SISTER!
Posted by: Heidi Vincent at August 4, 2006 11:15 AM
I am so glad you are honest enough with God to duke it out. Go for it sister. I love you and I am here. Need to cry with a friend, just call me sweetie.
Love you tons,
Corrin
Posted by: corrin at August 4, 2006 04:03 PM
Yeah for honest tears with Jesus! What a great freedom!
"You keep track of all my sorrows.You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8 (NLS)
"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)
Blessings,
Tanya
Posted by: Tanya at August 5, 2006 11:59 PM